Monday, December 31, 2007

[LinP3] Re: Girl problem - Is sending money always the right thing to do?

"Under no circumstances should you send any money.
Even if you think you have come to know your Intended very well."

This is the advice that appeared at the head of each profile page on a Free Dating in the Philippines Web Site I used up to about eight months ago. I believe it proved not only to be soundly based on a known practice but to be the wisest piece of advice you could ever receive in the early stages of a relationship. Several young hopefuls found themselves abruptly and
permanently cut-off, forever, on account of it.

The request for you to support some cause or other comes up, as a rule, about two weeks into Chatting. They range from the need for hospitalization (usually of the father) to being unable to pay the rent. To the Western senses they appeared to be saying: "try him and see if he's the soft touch". The amounts are always clearly stated, as are the reasons for it, even if they have the familiar ring of: "I have heard that one before".

Six months of frequent Chatting and exchanging lifestyle and family information by Post led me to believe this final Contact really was the right one. Sincere, with steady academic employment and a self-sufficient attitude to back it up. Her family appearing to be a well respected identity in the Town in which they lived, and from what I could judge would be what are known in the West as Middle Class. At no stage did they appear to ask her to press me for money, and indeed the young lady herself (actually middle aged and never married) always seemed very capable of managing her own financial affairs. In all, the sort of person to easily consider advancing your relationship to the very serious if that was your intent (and I had already made mine known).

So it came as a tremendous shock (almost eight months down the line) to be asked outright, during a Chat Session, for 5000 pesos to make the trip to a family reunion. The Cam was on at the time, and when I had recovered I had the presence of mind to study her facial expressions. Usually smiling and cheerful looking she had taken on a very serious countenance but there was
no sign of apprehension or fear? It was a "business as usual expression" and as I played for time by pleading ignorance on what method might get it to her by the scheduled date, she seemed to have all the information right at her fingertips without ever glancing down to look at the script!

The outcome at this point is "No outcome". At the close of Chat I put a block on the Messenger Service leaving only an Email link, with an email waiting for a "Please convince me as to why I shouldn't shut down this relationship completely?" I have not of course sent any money and have no intention of doing so. In fact the only reason I have left the Mail link open is on account of how far our relationship had travelled, though I doubt it will be travelling much further.

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